Royall Tiffany & Matthew Steven: May 2010

I'm pretty sure my mom is the only one who will read this but if you read it and you're wondering about the second paragraph- I had a colossal sob/laughing fit once when I gave a talk on motherhood 6 or 7 years ago- like I seriously made a spectacle out of myself and probably made everyone else in the congregation feel super uncomfortable too. Actually I think there may have been a few people in the Lloydminster branch who felt a bit cheated when I didn't make good on the emotional melt-down, in fact the branch president totally owned up to it! Anyways a little part of me always wonder when that perverse habit of laughing hysterically when I cry in front of people will emerge again.

Motherhood Talk

Good morning brothers and sisters, today I will be speaking about the importance of motherhood and the ways in which we can become the mothers that our Heavenly Father requires us to be.

Before I begin I should probably warn you since this is my first time speaking in the branch that when I talk about things very close to my heart I am tend to become emotional- and not being the type of girl who can keep that emotion to a slight quiver in my voice or a single glistening tear in my eye- I sob uncontrollably. And because I am a reserved person who feels uncomfortable displaying that much emotion in front of a large group of people- I start to laugh hysterically and by the time I am sobbing uncontrollably and laughing hysterically simultaneously, the result is that I've make the whole congregation feel uncomfortable too. I’ll try to keep said crying and laughing to a minimum, but the branch presidency did assign me the topic motherhood, which is a very personal topic to me, and being a sleep deprived young mother I think emotions might be fair game today.

At its simplest level, the word motherhood refers to the state of being a mother or the qualities of a mother. However, in the church we have a much richer sense of what motherhood is. As I studied the scriptures and general conference talks I was able to expand that definition. Motherhood is eternal, it has always been and always will be an important role- it is not limited to this brief time upon the earth. It is a sacred stewardship that our Heavenly Father has entrusted to women. It involves the “nurturing and teaching”, “loving and leading” of his spirit children. Motherhood is not limited to just current mothers; rather it is within all women’s divine nature and as such is often performed within the capacity of grandmother, aunt, daughter, sister and friend as well as mother. Motherhood enriches the lives of women by giving us purpose, meaning and bringing us joy.

The world's view of motherhood is somewhat different. As I read the following quote by Elder L. Tom Perry from his conference talk “Mothers Teaching Children in the Home” I was struck by the difference between how the world perceives motherhood and how God and the members of his church perceive motherhood. He says:

"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners”.
According to “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” these principles about teaching in the home apply to both parents, but they are especially crucial to the role of a mother. Fathers most often spend much of their day away from home in their employment. That is one of the many reasons so much of the responsibility for teaching the child in the home falls on mothers. While circumstances do vary and the ideal isn’t always possible, I believe it is by divine design that the role of motherhood emphasizes the nurturing and teaching of the next generation".

The adversary is waging a war on the family. He knows his efforts to destroy the family are most effective if they are targeted towards the center of the home- mother. Satan knows that there is no greater influence than the love and example of a righteous mother. He knows if he can keep mothers away from the home, it will be much easier to lead the children of God astray. Satan has been cunning in undermining the divine role of women by undervaluing the work of mothers.

I saw this clearly while taking a Women’s History course in University. The course material focused on the evolving roles of women in Canadian society throughout the past century and emphasized women’s struggle to be recognized and treated as men’s equals. In a class discussion with a group of my classmates, primarily women in their young twenties, about the progression of women’s rights, one girl remarked that she found it “sad that despite the fact that women had obtained the right to work outside the home, her friend preferred to choose a more traditional role of staying at home to raise her children”.

Unfortunately this view has been adopted by many in the world. Many equate the equality of women with them holding the same roles and doing the same work men do. We know that men and women are inherently different, but they are equal, and have been from the beginning. It is a part of our Heavenly Father’s divine design and plan of happiness that women and men serve in different but complimentary capacities. He has blessed women with the “inherent talent” to be mothers and has given them the responsibility to be a guide for helping his children in navigating the temptations and trials of mortality.

Elder Russell M. Nelson has declared that motherhood is the “highest and noblest work in this life”. Motherhood is essential to the Lord’s mission to “bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of men” (Moses 1:39). It is also the most devastating to Lucifer’s mission to ensnare the souls of men. God’s children will be more easily led astray if they have not received the teachings of their mothers in the home, particularly in their young formative years. Satan knows to increase his influence over us he must decrease the influence of righteous parents, particularly mothers in the home.

To accomplish this purpose he has spun many lies that have become prevalent in society today. Lies that the role of a mother staying at home to nurture and teach her children is old-fashioned, out-dated, and irrelevant in modern society. Lies that being a mother in the home will not be as important, challenging or fulfilling as work in the workplace.

What better use for her labor, time, and talents could a woman find then to help her children feel of the Savior’s love and to teach them to walk righteously before God? The answer is none! The truth of this is plainly evident in one of my favorite scripture stories, that of the Stripling Warriors- sons of the Anti-Lehi-Nephi’s, whose hearts had been turned to the Lord under the ministry of Ammon and his brethren. Though young, these brave young men desired to fight to defend their liberty and families against the Lamanite invasion. In his epistle to Moroni, Helaman tells:

“Now they had never fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.

And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt that our mothers KNEW it”. (Alma 56:47-48)

In the midst of their second battle against the Lamanites, as the stripling warriors fight with “so great courage” such as Helaman has never witnessed even amongst “all the Nephites” (Alma 56:45) these words come again to Helaman’s mind. He writes:

“They did obey and observe to perform every word of command with exactness; yea, and even according to their faith it was done unto them; and I did remember the words which they said unto me that their mothers had taught them”. (Alma 57:21).

At the end of the battle all of the two thousand sixty striplings warriors have been preserved by the Lord. Many seasoned soldiers had fallen in this battle against the Lamanites and the army marvels that not one of the young men is slain. Helaman writes:

“And we do justly ascribe it to the miraculous power of God, because of their exceeding faith in that which they had been taught to believe- that there was a just God, and whosoever did not doubt, that they should be preserved by his marvelous power. Now this was the faith of these whom I have spoken; they are young, and their minds are firm, and they do put their trust in God continually”. (Alma 57:27).

So firm was their faith in God that these young men fought without fear for they did not fear death, and so great was their faith in God they were kept safe in the midst of a battle so fierce that the Nephite army almost fell before the Lamanites. Who could doubt that the work of their mothers in the home was not wasted? Who would say that the countless hours these mothers spent in teaching their sons would have been better spent harvesting crops or raising livestock? These women recognized that the most valuable thing they could do to preserve their sons spiritually was to help them build unshakeable testimonies of God. Their sons built unshakeable testimonies because they knew that their mothers “knew it”.

This story reminds me of a statement issued by Heber J. Grant
“The mother in the family…is the one who instills in the hearts of the children, a testimony and love for the gospel; and wherever you find a woman who is devoted to this work, almost without exception you will find that her children are devoted to it".

Today we are in the midst of a spiritual rather than a physical battle. Our liberty and our families are still under attack like those in Book of Mormon times. Satan seeks to bring us into bondage, to become subject to him; he wants to tear down our families. The Savior has provided a way to preserve our family- to become an eternal family. We must be firm in our faith in the Lord and perform his commands in exactness like the Stripling Warriors.

Elder Russell M. Nelson has said:

"There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. Many are able to be “full-time moms,” at least during the most formative years of their children’s lives, and many others would like to be. Some may have to work part-or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work".

While circumstances differ between mothers, the things they can do to lead their children fearlessly in the midst of this battle are the same.

* One way is to be an example. Ralph Waldo Emerson said “What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say”. We need to teach our children and then we need to do what we teach. Lessons of service for example are much more effectively learned if our children see us serving others- whether it be visiting teaching, carefully preparing Church lessons, or performing acts of kindness.
In her talk “Are We Not All Mothers” Sheri Dew asks:
"How will our young women learn to live as women of God unless they see what women of God look like, meaning what we wear, watch, and read; how we fill our time and our minds; how we face temptation and uncertainty; where we find true joy; and why modesty and femininity are hallmarks of righteous women? How will our young men learn to value women of God if we don’t show them the virtue of our virtues? Every one of us has an overarching obligation to model righteous womanhood because our youth may not see it anywhere else".

A lot of the prominent people in society that children and youth look up to, such as athletes and movie stars, make bad choices that are disappointing. We cannot count on others to be righteous examples, we must be the example we want our children see.

* Another way to protect our children is to provide a safe home environment where they can feel the spirit. We need to have consistent family home evenings, family scriptures and prayers in our homes so that our children can learn gospel principles and feel the spirit confirm their truth. Mothers also need to teach their children the importance of searching, pondering, and applying the scriptures to their lives. As we teach our children the scripture stories they will learn to love the word of the Lord and want to obey. Mothers should also teach their children the power of personal revelation- to desire it and to seek it by living in a manner that the spirit can reside with us, asking for it through prayer, and by seeking it through scripture study.

We need to keep anything- pictures, magazines, books, internet sites, music- that is not leading us closer to our Savior out of our homes, because if they do not lead us closer to our Savior they are leading us further away. In his conference talk “Mother Told Me” Elder Bradley D. Foster said that “a distraction doesn’t have to be evil to be effective".

* Mothers can also strengthen their children through bearing their testimony. I have learned from my own mother the power of bearing regular testimony to children. Her testimony and love of the gospel, as Lehi and Sariah's did for Nephi, has prompted me to turn to the Lord in faith to ask if these things are true.

* Most importantly we need to show our children unconditional love- even if they make choices that lead them away from the gospel. Our children need to know that even if we do not approve of what they are doing that they are loved and our arms our opened to them. Elder Bradley D. Foster said: “We never know when a heart may be turned. We never know when a soul may be weary and worn out by the world. When that happens, it seems our children almost always turn first toward Mother".

CONCLUSION

I bear my testimony that as we do these things to strengthen our children we will also strengthen ourselves. Being a mother teaches us as well as our children, and we come closer to developing into the daughters Heavenly Father wants us to be as we overcome the challenges being a mother presents.

Being a mother is a sacred privilege and we need to live up to the trust the Lord has put in us to love and lead a chosen generation. We need to stand tall and be a light to the world, alongside our children so that we can bring others to know of the happiness that comes from choosing the right. There are many people who sense that there is something missing from their lives- they are seeking for light and knowledge. We need to be faithful, strong, and courageous servants of the Lord so that we can lead others to find peace and joy in a wicked world.

I am grateful for a Heavenly Father who knows me perfectly and sent me to the mother I needed. I am grateful for her courageous and righteous example. I am grateful for a loving husband who understands and supports me in my role as a mother. And I am grateful for a son who brings so much joy and opportunity for growth into my life.

I’d like to close with a quote from Sheri Dew:
"Never has there been a greater need for righteous mothers—mothers who bless their children with a sense of safety, security, and confidence about the future, mothers who teach their children where to find peace and truth and that the power of Jesus Christ is always stronger than the power of the adversary. Every time we build the faith or reinforce the nobility of a young woman or man, every time we love or lead anyone even one small step along the path, we are true to our endowment and calling as mothers and in the process we build the kingdom of God. No woman who understands the gospel would ever think that any other work is more important or would ever say, “I am just a mother,” for mothers heal the souls of men.

As mothers in Israel, we are the Lord’s secret weapon. Our influence comes from a divine endowment that has been in place from the beginning…We just can’t let the Lord down. And if the day comes when we are the only women on earth who find nobility and divinity in motherhood, so be it. For mother is the word that will define a righteous woman made perfect in the highest degree of the celestial kingdom, a woman who has qualified for eternal increase in posterity, wisdom, joy, and influence".

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.