Big Boy Bed

This pregnancy has had my emotions running amok. Sometimes I have the strangest, strongest sensation that it would be a great relief to cry even though I can't rack my brain for a reason to cry. But a few weeks ago my brain latched tenaciously onto a reason to weep. Jonas was growing up, fast. And when a new baby came he would no longer be the baby. Not very logical, I know. But having exhausted any chance of finding something reasonable to cry about I guess my brain decided an unreasonable reason was better than none at all.

Thinking about all those sweet little baby Jonas moments that could never be experienced anew again just broke my heart! I would literally just sob into my pillow at night. And one morning when I woke up still feeling weepy I even held Jonas, wrapped up in a blanket, and proceeded to sob over him for a couple minutes. It was a very self-indulgent and immature thing to do but Jonas sportingly played along. He looked up at me with a solemn face that seemed to say "Yes, I will no longer be a baby and I permit you to mourn for a moment".

That moment had a cathartic effect and I have become more calm and rational about my little boy growing up since. My fear has been replaced by gratitude that I have been richly blessed to stay at home with my strong sensitive boy so I can experience lots of precious, poignant little moments throughout everyday and share in the great adventure of his growing up.

And I'm finally ready to move the crib into the new baby's room.

So last night I read Jonas some books with pictures of little boys sleeping in their beds and I talked about Jonas' new bed. Then Matt and I moved Jonas' bed into his room and went about our bedtime routine as usual except that we put Jonas in his bed instead of his crib. Immediately after tucking Jonas in and kissing him goodnight, Matt and I tiptoed into our room and waited with bated breath for Jonas to come bounding out of his bed. 

But that big boy was so grown up he slept there all night!

 And at this very moment he is snuggled in his bed for a nap as naturally as though he had been sleeping in a bed and not a crib for the last two years of his life!