Approaching Zion

I pulled out "Approaching Zion" last night and index cards full of notes I made last time I read it fell out. And reading those notes took me back to where I was spiritually two years ago. And it was jarring to see that by relaxing my guard in some areas ever so gradually I could now clearly see that my heart had travelled further from Christ. I had an overwhelming sense of mourning because I realized I had lost something precious. My standards for movies and media has relaxed, my scripture study has been treated more lightly and my heart has been set more on the things of the world.

I feel like I am not devoting my energies enough to what will eternally bear fruit. I am not bold enough in my stand for what is virtuous, lovely, of good report and praiseworthy. And I am not the example I want my children to see. 

"Sin is waste. It is doing one thing when you should be doing other better things for which you have the capacity". (Next to which I wrote there are no innocent, idle thoughts)

"One forsakes sin completely or does not forsake it".

On money- "it seals up the heavens and closes the mind to revelation, takes possession of the heart and darkens the spirit, it works by deception, bewitching the nations, it paralyzes the minds perception of higher things".

"When I see this people grow and prosper I feel there is more danger than when they are in poverty. Being driven from city to city...is nothing compared to the danger of becoming rich and being hailed by outsiders as a first-class community". -Brigham Young

"We are trying to be the image of those who live in heaven; we are trying to pattern after them...to walk and talk like them, to deal like them, and build up the kingdom of heaven as they have done".

"Shall we now seek to make ourselves wealthy in gold and silver and the possessions which the wicked love and worship, or shall we with all of our might, mind, and strength seek diligently first to build up the Kingdom of God? Let us decide on this, and do the one thing or other".

"Those who believe and obey the Gospel of the Son of God forsake all for its interests, belong to the kingdom of God, all the rest belong to the other kingdom".

Reading some Nibley (and Brigham Young) black-and-white, Babylon or Zion was very refreshing. There is no in between. The road to Zion is a steep uphill. There is no shortcut. It involves a struggle and if I am not striving and laboring to be a disciple of Christ then I know I have ventured off the straight and narrow. 

A movie with a good overall message but one evil scene is not okay. Spending thoughtless time in front of a computer screen when I can be doing better things is not okay.Wasting time wishing for nicer things when I have been blessed to have what I need is not okay. Mentally whining that life is so hard when I am entitled to Heavenly Father's help through personal revelation is not okay. Not speaking up for my standards to other people because I don't want them to think I'm being self righteous or judging them is not okay.  

And I really needed that reality check last night.